Anger DON'Ts

Rejuvenation is a month today and I would want to appreciate all my readers for believing in me. It had not been an easy journey, I must confess. However, it’s really been worth every single bit of my time, energy, internet connection, light, headaches, and all. KanyinWrites would be nothing without constant readers. As much as I write to inspire people, in this first month, I’ve really been inspired myself. I’ve learnt a lot from the underG criticisms I get. As a form of giveaway, I would be appreciating you in the little way I can. I would reward the first 5 people who comment on today’s post (at the end of this post, you will find out what to comment about.) I love you all so much.

We’ve been exploring the topic anger for some days now. I hope we’ve been able to pick out one or two things from the posts so far? Today, I would like us to consider some other things we need to know about anger. Anger is a state of mind that prevents us from thinking clearly. When people are angry, they do and say things they regret later on. Anger is an emotional state that brings hostility with it. I once saw a quote that says that anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That helped me rethink my own anger. The problem with anger is the side effect of what we do when we are angry. Therefore, this post tells us what not to do and what to do when we are angry. 

The secret to anger management is preparing in advance. If we pay attention and avoid the things listed below, we will be in a better place. Here are some of the things we should NOT DO when we are angry:

·         Do Not Keep Arguing

This is very important. It is not advisable to keep arguing when you have a misunderstanding with someone. Argument solves nothing so there is no point wasting your energy on it. Let us understand that when we are involved in an argument, the other person also wants to claim he/she is right. This can only lead to prolonged argument and the sparking continues. Also, in the cause of a heated argument, you do not have a control of your mind. Things are said that should not have come out from the mouth. It is better when you keep quiet and possibly leave the scene at that moment.

However, understand when you need to be silent and when you need to leave. Some people are just not alright. That’s when they will say, “Are you walking out on me?” “So I’m a fool abi that’s why you are keeping quiet?” “So it is me that is barking?” Avoid arguing with people like this.

·         Do Not Vent

When you are angry is not the time to explain the events that led to your anger. The truth is, the more you talk about it is the more you get angry. The rule is: share your story quickly and stop telling it before your mind notices it and uses it to reinforce the annoying experience. I remember when I had an issue in my relationship. I found out that anytime I talked about it, I always got angrier. Talking about it didn’t help me heal fast and it kept the grudge in my heart. I had to stop talking about it and just let it go. It was then I could find a place in my heart to forgive.

·         Do Not Take it Out on Others

This is what is called transfer of aggression. You never want to mistreat others because you are angry and “having a bad day”. You are the owner of your emotion, keep it to yourself. If you know you have not calmed your nerves down, do not stay around others. Keep your cool until you are capable of dealing with your feelings. I remember one of my teachers in secondary school. You don’t want to have her subject whenever she’s angry. Woe betides you if she asks you a question that you cannot provide an answer to. By the time she pounces on you, you will think it’s more than not getting the answer. Please, don’t make people scared to be around you when they notice you are angry.

·         Do Not Make Decisions

When you are angry is not the time to take decisions. I don’t even know why someone will want to make an important decision when he/she is angry. At that state, you are not thinking straight and people might want to use that as an advantage. Mumsy will read this post but I hope she doesn’t see this part (lol). I remember one time that she was angry with my brother. I was still little then and me I wanted to buy biscuit. That’s how I went to meet her that I wanted biscuit. Though she answered me shouting, it paid off. She was like “go and take money in my purse and leave me alone”. As she didn’t specify how much I should take, I helped myself with enough. It was time for her to use the money and she could not remember how it disappeared. Don’t be like my mum, keep your decisions till when you are calm.

The list is endless on what not to do when angry. Writing more will only make this post long. We have gone through the Don’ts of getting angry. It is important to also note what we should do when we are angry. I’m sure someone will be saying is there something we should do when we are angry again? Yes, there are and they are inexhaustible. I would share just a few in my next post.

I hope we’ve learnt a thing or two from this post today? Regarding my giveaway, I would like you to share with us an event where you got angry and what you did that aggravated the situation or what you did to manage the situation. I also want to learn from you. Remember, first 5 people to comment gets a gift.

Much Love always from

KanyinWrites.