I’m sure you people will agree with me that there is one
kind of anger that you feel but cannot express. This is because you cannot see
the person you are angry with. This kind of anger is what I feel right now. What
Ikeja Electric aka Nepa aka Phcn has done to me ehn. I really don’t even know
how to express my anger towards them. Nigeria will surely be a better place
soon. I just hope my readers are also not angry with me and don’t know how to
express it.
Last time, I
wrote about those things we should not find ourselves doing when we get angry. I’m
happy I was able to get feedbacks from the tips I wrote. I’ve gotten
testimonies from people who said they tried these tips and it worked for them. Thank
God for that. Today, we would also look through few of the things we should do
when we feel angry or when we are angry. Here are 6 things we should do.
1. Allow yourself to feel angry
It is unhealthy for someone to say they don’t get
angry. Of course, you are human. Blood flows through your veins. Therefore, you
have the right to get angry. As a matter of fact, when you have to get angry,
please do. Don’t get me wrong though. I’m sure we already understand what I mean
when I say we should get angry. Don’t get aggressive, just express your
feelings and let out your hurt. There are times I tell myself I’m not angry but
deep down in my heart; I feel really bad. Please don’t be like that. Express it
right there and let the person know. It will be so funny to later tell the
person you got angry.
2. Check Your Mood Before the Incident
It is not all the time that you get angry that it
is caused by someone. Were you having a bad day already?
Were you already feeling annoyed or irritated? Ask yourself these questions before
you burst out in anger. It could just be that the person’s actions were the straw
that broke the camel’s back.
3. Talk to the Person Involved
There are times we get angry blindly. It is always
nice to hear from the other person before you jump into conclusions. There could
be a reason for some actions at times. As such, the Yoruba adage that says “you
don’t get angry with the person you do not see” is correct. Are you feeling angry because of what you’re
interpreting their actions to mean? (For example, you may think that your
boyfriend not showing up means that he doesn’t respect you, when he may have a
valid explanation).
4. Use “I Feel” Language
Instead of saying, “You
didn’t show up so you obviously don’t care about me,” say, “When you forget about
the things that are important to me, I feel hurt.” In this way, you’re not
assuming the other person meant to make you feel bad. You’re just explaining
how it makes you feel so they can understand how their actions impact you.
Instead of spoiling everything with anger, you are patiently handling the
situation.
5. Learn From your Anger
In order not to be tagged as an angry person,
it is better to learn from your anger. If you discover that you get angry
easily, why not find out what causes it? Who are those you spend your time
with? Do they respect your values? If not, do away with them and don’t allow
them to keep getting on your nerves. If you are too quick to anger, learn how you
can improve your response to anger.
6. Forgive
Please learn to forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive the people
who angered you. When I write forgive yourself, I mean exactly that. There are
some crazy things we might have done when we got angry. We might have lost some
wonderful relationships as a result. The first step is to forgive yourself and
then find ways to make amends. These words
can go a long way in keeping relationships “I forgive you” “I’m sorry” “I love
you”.
Much Love,
KanyinWrites
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